When I found Parents in two Mentors

I want to tell you a story that still lives inside my heart. It is the story of a child who never thought she would feel safe in a family again. It is the story of a girl who used to watch other children call out to their parents and she wondered how that must feel. This girl was me. My name is Surja and for a long time I believed that life had already taken away everything that could make a child warm from inside. I believed that maybe I was meant to grow up alone. I believed that maybe my story was already written in a dark corner where love never enters.

But I was wrong. Life surprised me with two people who stepped into my world not with a loud noise but with a gentleness I did not know how to receive at first. Their names were Saroj aunty and Deepak uncle. I call them my mentors but the truth is that they walked into my life like sunlight walks into a closed room when a small window finally opens. They came with no big promises. They came with no conditions. They came with no demands. They simply came with their quiet strength and their steady love. And suddenly the story of a lonely girl began to change.

The opening of a closed heart

I still remember the first time I saw them. I did not trust adults easily. I was used to being careful with my feelings. I kept my real pain hidden. I had learned the art of smiling while my heart trembled. But the way Saroj aunty looked at me that day did something small but powerful in me. She had the kind of eyes that feel like they know your story even before you speak. And Deepak uncle had the kind of voice that makes you feel like you are not invisible.

I was scared. I was confused. I was not ready to believe that these people were here to care for me. I wondered if they would leave one day like others had done. I wondered if their kindness had an ending date. But they did not try to rush me. They did not try to pull me towards trust. They simply stayed.

Their presence was like a soft place where you can sit without fear. For the first time I felt that I did not need to pretend. I did not need to act strong. I did not need to hide my shaking hands. And one day something inside me opened when I heard Saroj aunty say these words with her calm voice:

“You do not need to win our love. You already have it.”

I had never heard anything like that in my life. I did not know that love could come without tests. Without conditions. Without fear of losing it if I made mistakes. I remember holding those words in my chest for many nights. I kept wondering if they were true. And each day after that their actions kept answering me gently.

They guided me in small ways. They asked me about my dreams. They asked me what scared me. They sat with me like family sits around a fire during winter. They gave space to my voice. They did not treat my past like a burden. They treated my story with respect. They treated my pain like something that deserved healing. They treated me like I mattered.

And this was new for me. Very new.

Slowly I allowed myself to believe that maybe I was not alone. Maybe I had people I could lean on. Maybe I had hands that would hold me if I stumbled. Maybe I could actually build my future with courage because I had two strong pillars behind me.

Growing with guidance and growing into myself

As days turned into months, Saroj aunty and Deepak uncle became much more than mentors. They became the closest thing to parents that my heart had ever known. They believed in me even when I did not believe in myself. They pushed me gently when fear tried to freeze my steps. They protected me from the noise of self doubt. They helped me understand that my past was not a chain around my neck. It was a chapter I survived. It was not my identity.

There are moments I still remember clearly. Moments when my whole life started to shift.

Once during a difficult time when I felt I was failing in everything, I told Deepak uncle that I did not deserve support because I always made mistakes. He listened quietly and then said something that still stays with me whenever I feel small.

“Surja, mistakes do not decide who you are. What you learn from them decides who you become.”

Those words became like a compass inside me. They gave me direction. They gave me courage. They made me feel strong even when the world around me was shaking.

Another time when everything felt too heavy and I was afraid to try something new, Saroj aunty held my hands and looked directly into my eyes. She said,

“You are not alone. I am standing right next to you. Walk. I am with you.”

This sentence became the foundation of my confidence. Knowing that she was with me made walking less frightening. It made trying feel possible. It made dreaming feel safe.

Slowly I started speaking with more confidence. I started taking leadership roles. I started standing up for other care leavers because I knew how it felt to be lost without guidance.

I started becoming someone I myself could look up to. I started becoming someone younger care leavers could trust. I started becoming someone who could turn my pain into power.

Saroj aunty and Deepak uncle taught me how to stand like a tree. With roots deep in resilience. With branches wide open to new skies. With strength that does not shout but stands firm. They did not try to fix me. They simply helped me see the strength I already had inside me.

And this became my turning point.

The journey of a child who became a Change Agent

Today when I look back at my journey, I see a small girl who once thought she was alone forever. And beside her I now see two extraordinary people who stepped into her world with patience, wisdom and unconditional care.

What they gave me cannot be measured in material terms. What they gave me was grounding. What they gave me was voice. What they gave me was courage. What they gave me was the experience of being cared for like a daughter even when the world had placed me in different labels.

Today when I walk into rooms as an advocate for care leavers. When I speak at national and international platforms. When I write about our challenges. When I tell our stories. When I help other young people stand tall. I know that I am able to do all this because my inner child was held and healed by two strong hands.

I know that my wings grew because someone believed I deserved to fly. I know that my voice exists because someone told me it mattered. I know that my life changed because two people refused to let me disappear inside silence.

I want every mentor in the world to know something very important

 “A child who has been unseen does not heal through correction. They heal when someone finally connects with them”

And I want every care leaver to hear this clearly:

“We are not difficult to love. We are simply waiting for someone to love us.”

My Recommendations for Mentors and for the World

This story is not only mine. It is the story of every care leaver who is searching for stable connection. It is the story of children who need guidance but do not know how to ask. It is the story of youth who want to grow but are scared to trust again.

So here are my recommendations from my heart, with my lived experience and most importantly advocating with them collectively. 

For mentors

• Show up with consistency
• Listen with patience
• Speak with kindness
• Give guidance without judgement
• Celebrate small wins
• Help the child see their strengths
• Stand with them during mistakes
• Believe in their potential even when they doubt it

For society and systems

• Build safe mentoring programs for care leavers
• Train mentors in trauma sensitive care
• Give youth long term emotional support
• Create spaces where youth can ask for help without fear
• Recognise the importance of one stable adult in a care leavers life

For care leavers

• Do not feel ashamed of needing support
• Reach out when things feel heavy
• Trust slowly but trust the right people
• Protect your dreams
• Stand for others when you find strength
• Remember that your story is worthy and powerful

This blog is my “Thank you” to Deepak uncle and Saroj aunty. It is my gift. It is my reminder that the presence of one loving adult can completely change the journey of a Care Leaver.

And it is my promise that I will continue walking forward with courage and compassion. Because two people once held my hand and taught me how to walk without fear.